Online Dating.

I told myself several times that I wouldn’t pay for a dating site ever due to my past experience. But like most women do when they’re vulnerable is give in and I’m one of them.

My first experience with online dating, now I’m going to be honest here, was through video games. Yup! I was eight-teen years old and I would play online video games. Met a couple of people, made friends and there was one individual that just stood out from the rest. Funny thing was that this guy knew one of my brothers. Now, this was back when MySpace was “poppin!” So we exchanged contact information and added each other on MySpace. Eventually things got a bit serious and we both wanted the same thing; a relationship. So he lived in New Jersey and I had just moved from New Jersey to Texas. Luckily his brother worked for an airline company so going to see each other wasn’t as hard as we thought it would be. We would at least visit each other twice a month for about three days. I met his family and he met mine. Things were working out pretty well until one day he decided to tell me those three little words, “I love you.” I looked at him and I said, “haha! Shut up!” And I slapped him across his face. I will never forget that day because he started to cry. He got so emotional and I believe at that point he knew I didn’t feel the same way. I mean I know there’s people that get married younger than eight-teen, but I was in no shape or form to be that serious a long distant relationship. Of course he suggested moving to Texas or me moving up there, but I just didn’t want to. So we ended things after being together for about eight months. Till this day we’re still really good friends and still play online together. After that I said “I will never ever do that again!” Well that was a lie.

I ended up meeting someone online again about a year later and this time he lived about an hour away from me. We took things really slow and dated a while before becoming anything serious. We eventually fell in love and everything was magical and all Disney and shit until I realized after a year and a half of being with him that I’ve been dating a lyin-cheating son of a bitch. During our relationship I became a Christian and I was really into my church and building a relationship with Christ, but he thought it was all a joke. He would bring me down with his negativity and mock my friends and I. After a while he noticed how much it would hurt so he “tried” to make an effort and go to my church. He started going regularly, but he was one of those that would say one thing and do another. Thursday through Saturday would be nothing but parties and getting drunk. Sunday would come around and he would be the first one with his hand held up high in worship. I was disappointed, discouraged and embarrassed. As many times as I tried to tell him to stop he wouldn’t listen. So he found someone else that would show him the ultimate path of destruction with the help of her vagina. I found out through Facebook under tagged photos. And that was the end of him……yes, I didn’t murder him.

So I did my “thing” for a while and went out with my single girl friends and traveled and had flings here and there, but I was always unhappy. I wasn’t fulfilling anything. So then I just focused on myself, my faith, my family, friends and getting my act together. Still I missed having a companion by my side. Someone to text me good morning and goodnight. I realized that I am not getting any younger and it’s time to start settling down. So I did what I thought was right. I signed up for an online dating site! The process was dreadful. It felt like I was applying for a secret service position. So many personal questions, but I guess the more personal the more accurate my matches would be. So I’ve been on there for about a week now and it’s pretty hectic. I’ve met two really nice young men and so far it’s been good. Too early to tell anything as well, but it’s not as scary as I thought it would be. Next post I’ll be engaged guys. Hahaha! Just kidding. I’ll give it two weeks. Haha, no! But I’ll keep you posted!